Words

There really are no words right now for how I'm feeling. Bad is sort of adequate... but not really. I just feel really shitty and... I don't know. Depressed? All because of a few little words. I hate words. And as a writer, this isn't a good thing. Music is pissing me off, another bad sign. So I've been playing Mass Effect for most of the morning, but the fact I'm playing video games is also depressing, because it reminds me of things.

I had a terrible dream last night. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a dream. Logic says it was, my heart says it wasn't. Basically Rain left me. I suppose I had this dream because I cried myself to sleep last night over those few little words. I had to hang up quick when Rain called me, since I was barely choking back the sobs. I'm surprised he didn't say anything. I'm sure my voice sounded strained. Maybe he dismissed it as me being tired.

Ugh, I'm so tired. And stressed. And just done with everything. I want to cry. Really bad.

Why the hell am I such a pathetic sob story? It's pissing me off!

I'm not sure which is better. Anger or sadness. I'm such a bundle of PMSing hormones! That's probably it, too: PMS. That's probably why I feel so shitty.

I need some Advil.