Red

A few things have been happening lately. I suppose I should start with the most important? My connection to spirits has become very sharp and I can feel the other me getting stronger. That darker half that carried me through life when I didn't have the strength for it. When I banished her, I became very childish and was able to better enjoy life. But after spirits started appearing again, she's back. I've lost most of my bipolar behaviour and have become very serious and calculated. It's hard to be the happy-go-lucky me now. I want to separate myself from people, as I always have, and I know that's just due to her influence. She's a lone wolf and made me think that I should be, too, but I know now that the only way for me to survive is with others. But I need people like her... Not a lot of the people I surrounded myself with in the time she was gone.

I feel too mature for my generation.

My thoughts lately have been consumed with survival. I know this to also be her influence. She's always obsessed with it. Plan what you're going to do for every possibility... I wonder if spending time with- mm, I don't have a name for him yet... I think. Either way. But spending time with him, perhaps, has brought it out. He's a lot more mature than most people I spend my time with, which is very refreshing.

Either way, I'm just thankful that I can keep her in check. For now she's caged, but her influence still reaches out through the bars.

On another note, I went to see a play last night that was very intellectual. I need to write a review on it by the end of the week for class. It's called "Red" and it was written by John Logan, the man who did the screenplay for Gladiator. I found it fascinating and there were many good lines in it. Probably one of my favourite plays. It make you think.

Well... I'm heading to Rain's now, for better or worse. I hope she can just quiet down and he and I can find something to do.

'Till next time.