Hail

I haven't written in a while. My muse, my head... They're kinda shot. I've dropped Gaia now, since I can't seem to write anymore. I also don't have a lot of time. My priorities changed, I guess. And I wonder if it's not so much that I don't have time, but I'd rather do something else with the time I have. Like... Well, for the first time in ages I'm curled up on the couch watching reruns of my favourite TV shows with a huge mug of Pepsi, just relaxing. I almost forgot just how nice it is to do nothing. To nurse a good book and watch the world go by outside... It's nice. I'll probably make tea later.

Anyway... Things that have been happening. Well, Rain and I are pretty good. I still hate that we can't see each other often enough, but it's nice that we can skype call. Unfortunately, though, both of us are in-person people, so we never have much to talk about until we're actually together again. We talk silently and just enjoy being around each other. It's amazingly sweet and rare. I'm so lucky. I spent all day with him yesterday. We slept for an hour, then spent a couple hours getting closer. After we spent the day doing nothing, just laughing and wrestling and having tickle fights... He showed me some heirlooms from his family after his grandmother's spirit visited and I talked to her. I pointed her out in a picture, saying she was the woman who was there, and thus started him showing me things and having me identify some memories and things. He's so adorable and cheesy and sweet. He held me really tight and twined his legs with mine so I was totally trapped against him, then whispered in this quirky, dorky way "You're mine, and you can't get away." It wasn't in this possessive sort of way, but more protective.

I need to call you later, Sophie.

Other things... I was upset today, or at least very obviously out of sorts, and nobody seemed to give a damn about it. They're all off in their own worlds. California mentioned that I looked really tired and I blamed it on how sore I am today. We talked about our boyfriends and last weekend, which cheered me up, but then I was down again when I went to YLD in block four. I'm really out of the loop there now, since I didn't go to the cast party, instead opting to call Rain.

You're so lucky that you get to see your boyfriend every day, Sophie. Whenever I'm not with Rain, it's like I'm missing something vital. But that's not what's bothering me.

I'm not actually entirely sure what's wrong. Something just feels... off. Like something bad might happen. Maybe I'm just nervous, since I'll likely meet Rain's real father on Friday. I really hope he'll approve of me... Rain says to just be myself. His dad seems pretty generous, but also very selfish. He wants to be a good father to Rain, but he's also keeping Rain a secret from his current family. I can't help but wonder how long that will last and how it will affect Rain. I worry for him, since he rarely worries for himself.

Anyway... 'Till next time.