Countdown

My head hurts. A lot. I'm a lot less coordinated. I've been dizzy and weak all day. Yesterday, too. My health's dipping again, I think. I really hope that the specialist makes the appointments soon.

I feel like crap right now. My head hurt before, but now it's twice as bad. Probably from crying. I haven't cried in a while. I'm trying not to anymore. It seems to be working.

I'm... fucked up. I always fuck things up, don't I?

I ruined Rain's good day, I'm pretty sure... I didn't want him to ask how my day was. I said it wasn't all that good, but mentioned a good thing to distract him. Course he dug into the bag of bad stuff.

I feel guilty. I know he's upset now.

... ... ...

...

Ugh.

What are my priorities? Everyone says they should be different. People tell me to look after my health, then my grades, then others, then entirely unrelated things. I don't know anymore. I should be more like California. Grades first. Then chosen family. Then family. Then friends. Then sports and activities. Then mental health. Then miscellaneous. Then physical health.

I'm so tired now. My hands are shaking. It's hard to type.

'Till next time.