Confused

I don't really know what's wrong with me. I'm horny, yeah. I want to have sex, yeah. But I get nervous thinking of it all of a sudden. I mean, yes, I got shy before. But this is different. It's like anxiety over it or something. I'm pretty sure in the while that I haven't really been active, I've somehow gone back to being a virgin in my head. Didn't take long, it seems. Yesterday I was all for giving Rain a blow job, but when actually faced with it, I just got... I don't know. Scared, I suppose. That seems like an accurate word.

I needed to write it somewhere, get it out of my system. I'll probably delete this later.

So, yeah... Mental virginity. Guess it's back to square one for me in the physical affection comfort level.