Toxic

Today was not a particularly good day for me, nor was last night once I returned home. But before that was good. The evening, anyway. I got to spend it with Rain, and even though it wasn't long, it was still something. Something's better than nothing, right? I definitely need to be more careful about eating meat, though... My body was spending all its energy on that, so I very nearly collapsed at home. My limbs were all shaky and my heart was all weird. I drank some water (which made me feel like throwing up), brushed my teeth, grabbed Rain's hoodie, and promptly went to sleep. It was fairly light and I think I woke up a couple times, but I'm not sure anymore.

I felt a bit better this morning, fortunately, but I still had awful cramps. Dammit, Sophie, why do we women have to go threw this? It's seriously unfair. Being a guy sounds easy in comparison. But I guess not. Though their problems certainly seem much closer to trivial than ours... Whatever.

Rain gave me his old X-Box 360 in exchange for money for a new chord for the X-Box his friend gave him. What name to give him... Well, if he comes up again, I'll give him a name. 'Till then, it's not necessary. Rain still needs to get a new hard drive for it, but the console works, regardless. So, Sophie, you need to come over for a night and we shall play Halo 3 all night long. And if we finish it, we can play Halo Reach, as well! Shall be fun, yes? We need to spend some time together. I miss you a lot.

Speaking of girls' nights... The one I had at- Oh, I don't remember what I named her. Did I name her? I'll call her Eustace. Anyway, the one I had at Eustace's place was fun. Angel was there, too, and we got a little drunk. Drinking games are fun, though two truths and a lie isn't really my cup of tea. I like the one I play at Artemis' better, though it's more complicated, so I can't really remember how it goes. There's cards involved. We drink pop instead of alcohol, though, since Artemis is so uptight. I'm going to a girls' night at her place tomorrow. I wonder if I'll have any fun. Hopefully. If I get upset I'll go somewhere quiet and call Rain. Just the sound of his voice will make me feel better.

Artemis and them are getting even more tiresome. Artemis was talking to someone today about how much she disliked Zeus. I do believe she said hate. But when I was talking to her alone a while ago, I learned she actually does care about him and misses what they use to have. I kinda miss it, too. The fights they get in now are far too real for me. They make my head ache and my aura itch. Something bad's going to come out of it, I'm just waiting for when. Hopefully I'll be able to get between them or something.

My sixth sense reminds me a lot of Elva in the Inheritance series. I haven't finished it yet, though I'm almost there. Anyway, the way she can feel others' pain is a lot like myself. Just like her, I sometimes get sick from it, though not nearly so severely.

On the note of being sick... Doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. They're going to consult a heart specialist. If he has nothing to say, she's going to decide I'm a medical mystery and make me live with it. I'm seeing the therapist tomorrow, too. I'm a little nervous, since I haven't seen her in a month. I'm feeling loads better, though. I'm curious what she's going to say.

I feel a bit guilty. I haven't been paying as much attention to Care Bear as I use to. I really should, I know she needs me. It's hard being in the hospital and such. But she has Inu now, so I feel like I'm not quite so necessary. I'm still going to visit her in the summer, though, if she makes it through her transplant. I might still go, anyway, just to see the falls and all the things she talked about. But I don't want to dwell on the implications of "anyway."

Mom and dad leave on Saturday for Maui. So I'm alone with gramps. Rain's mom said they'd have me over for dinner a few times and keep an eye on me, which I really, really appreciate. I seriously doubt I'll survive with the old man. Even dad's starting to get annoyed by him, which is saying something, since gramps is his father and all and he seems to have infinite patience for the senior. But anyway. Mom picked up more birth control for me and some more vitamins and on Saturday she and I will go get groceries and things. Gonna get lots of vegetables and fruit and some crap for grandpa to make himself. I'm not going to cook for him, no way in Hell. I'll cook for myself, though. I can't survive off TV dinners and shit like that. I need somewhat proper food, though I don't need real meals. Nuts and vegetables and fruit will work just fine.

I eat like a rabbit, it's weird.

I think I've probably ranted on long enough...

'Till next time.